100 Words a Day #127

20 Aug

‘Today is a good day to die’ he thought.

It was gloomy, rainy and cold.  ‘No need to waste another day in this shithole.’ He bent over to pick the revolver off the floor.  As he did he saw the picture under the futon.

It was a pic of his cat Charlie.  ‘This dirty cat… Who will feed him?  Who is going to change his litter box?  He won’t do it, that filthy animal.’

Charlie came from the other room and stared at him.  Charlie put his paw on his knee.  ‘Ok Charlie.  I’ll do this another day.  Dinner time.’

catpaw

100 Words a Day #126

20 Aug

If I think you are wrong and I am right, and you think I am wrong and you are right, maybe we are both wrong?

 

‘A blind person who sees is better than a seeing person who is blind.’  Who wrote this?  Were they drunk?

 

‘A new broom sweeps clean but an old broom sweeps the corners.’  Just get a vacuum cleaner already.

 

Should we or shouldn’t we?  Either way you are not alone.

 

‘There but for the grace of God go I.’  -Me when I don’t want to leave the house.

 

It is a Saturday.  Stay in bed today.   Words

100 Words a Day #123

18 Aug

‘Hey man! Are you a racist?’

‘Uh, weird thing to ask.’ Said Bob.

‘I am just asking because I need to know.  I don’t want to be friends with racists.’

‘Have I ever given you any reason to think that I am a racist?’

‘Welp, sometimes racists are sneaky.   You are kinda sneaky.’ Said Tom

‘SNEAKY?! What the hell does that mean?’

‘I don’t think you always say what you mean.’

‘Ok, I am not a racist.  I do not have hatred for anyone.  We should all be held to the same standards.

‘Good.’

‘Except for the Jews. Screw them.’

racists

100 Words a Day #124

18 Aug

Sheriff Thompson showed up maybe 15 minutes later.  He was in his own car.  He drove a classic 1974 Pontiac Trans AM.  It was a perfect car for him.  All muscle, no brain.

Bob and the Sheriff had clashed before.  Mostly when they were drinking at the local watering hole/restaurant/post office.  Bob liked baseball and the Sherriff liked football.  It was mostly playful banter but Bob didn’t like the Sherriff.  He knew the Sheriff could be a prick.

‘So what happened here Bob?’

‘Sheriff I don’t rightly know.  I was in the house when I heard a loud explosion.’

trans am

100 Words a Day #125

18 Aug

‘I got a #9 with extra mayo!’ shouted Jimmy from behind the counter.

‘That’s me.’ said a fairly obese man who grabbed the bag and left.

Jimmy retreated back to the kitchen and the hot grill.  Sandy gave him the side eye.

‘Really Jimmy?  Extra mayo?’

‘No, I jerked off on it.’

‘Jesus Jimmy. You are gross.’

‘Kidding, kidding.  I don’t have that kind of speed or aim.  I just like yelling ‘Extra mayo!’ when I see fat people have ordered.’

‘How do you know they are fat when you are back here?’

‘This is America.  They are always fat.’

 

fat

100 Words a Day #122

15 Aug

The dog snarled and the cat hissed.  The alley was dimly lit from a street light.  The two animals were fighting over whatever remnants were in a discarded pizza box.

The dog was easily 4 times the size of the cat but the cat was quicker, hungrier and much meaner.  With one swipe of the paw on the dog’s nose the cat was victorious.  The dog scampered out of the alley.

Looking in the box the cat found some crust and a container of marinara sauce.  She picked up the crust in her mouth to take back to her babies.

Alley cat, Jerusalem

100 Words a Day #121

14 Aug

‘You want me here because I know when Bengo is near.  I know how to avoid Bengo.’

‘Well, maybe I want to meet Bengo.  Maybe I want to have him here.’

‘No you don’t.  You know that tsunami that hit Thailand in 2004?  That was Bengo.’

‘How the fuck was that Bengo?  Why would Bengo even do that?’

‘Because Bengo is unreasonable.  Bengo doesn’t have remorse.  Bengo does as Bengo does.’

‘So why are you even here?’ he asked.

‘Because I can help.  I can stop Bengo.  Bengo made me.  I am a part of Bengo and he is me.’

tsunami_picture