Archive | April, 2014

Is coffee too much?

28 Apr

I’m in my 40’s and single.  This isn’t by design people.  I don’t necessarily want to be single.  Who wants to be alone?  Even hermits and curmudgeons would prefer to have someone in their life.  You just want someone to like you and understand you.  Is that too much to ask for?! Apparently in many circumstances yes, yes it is.

I’m doing my best to not be angry/bitter/disappointed. I’m trying to come up with ways to meet people.  I joined Tinder.  My suggestion to you, especially if you’re over the age of 30, is just don’t.  Don’t join Tinder.  I question why I even joined Tinder.  For those that don’t know it is an app for your phone.  It is a very basic dating device.  You see a picture of a person and you swipe right if you’re interested and left if you are not.  You can see several pictures, and get a basic description the person wrote, but basically it is a game of ‘Hot or Not.’  I am finding that I am probably more ‘Not’ than ‘Hot’ as I am getting few responses.  I trying to get myself to believe that I am too old for most of the people on this app and no one wants to date an old guy.  I tell myself that as I curl up into the fetal position.

So I have been trying a more direct approach.  I am asking people on coffee dates.  I look at coffee dates as being a more innocent, accessible and easy way to meet people.  And ya know what?  I think women are afraid of the coffee date.  I have asked 3 women out on coffee dates. All initially said yes, all eventually backed out.  Why?  I have my suspicions.

I believe that there is a certain level of intimacy involved with coffee that scares people.  The date generally takes place during the day, it is in a well lit area, it is quiet enough to converse, there are few distractions, no one is liquored up.  I like that concept because I hate small talk.  I am not good with it.  I want to ask questions and get to know a person.  Coffee allows me to do that.  Getting a beer does not.  Beer gets you nonsense.  It is a waste of time.

So with 3 strikes and your out policy in place I opened up to coffee date idea to the general public.  I just asked Facebook people who wanted a coffee date.  And people took me up on it.  However It wasn’t exactly meeting the purpose I initially started it for.  But then I thought that maybe this is something better?  Maybe I am meeting people to just get myself out of a comfort level.  To get myself to converse with more people, cause let me be honest and I say I don’t normally go out of my way to talk with people as much as I like too.  

Most of the people I have met are people who want to be comics ( or a girlfriend of a comic).  But some have just been random folks.  It is good to just meet people.  Interact with them.  People are missing out on that human interaction.  We do too many things by ourselves.  We get wrapped up with our phones, earbuds, and the internet.  Put that stuff down for a sec and talk with people. If nothing else you will get to hear some interesting stories.  Maybe you will tell some and surprise yourself. So with the being said who wants some bean juice?!