Archive | July, 2014

An open letter to comedians

18 Jul

Dear Colleagues,

Sometimes I feel like a reminder is needed. Something to put us back on track. To make us remember what we are really doing. We are telling jokes. We are telling funny stories. In the process we make people laugh, people have a good time, we smile, we drink, we share… It generally is a great process and we should be thankful for this.

We should be thankful that there are clubs, theaters, colleges, cruise ships that allow us to tell our jokes. We should be thankful for the people who wait tables, sling drinks, and cook meals in these establishments. We should be thankful that people come out and see us perform. We should be thankful that we get to do promotion on tv/radio/print to get people to come in to see shows. We should be thankful that we meals free, drinks free, hotels free. It is a nice perk of the job.

And the reason I say this is because we are just telling jokes. We aren’t curing cancer, we aren’t arresting bad guys, we aren’t teaching children. We say funny things and people PAY us to do that!!! How fantastic and wonderful is that?! We can make a living saying silly things. That is amazing.

So with that being said be gracious. Be generous. Be nice to people. Greet people at the end of shows. Thank them for coming out to see you. Talk with the staff who work the room you are performing in. Just be a decent human being and remember that we get to do something special.

Now carry on and write a good dick joke today.



Live Comedy

I’m not smart enough to be an atheist.

5 Jul

Most people don’t know me really all that well. People do seem to form some opinions about me though. One that always perplexes me is that people believe that I am an atheist. A lot of my jokes make fun of prayer and Jesus etc.. But they are just jokes. If you can’t laugh at yourself…

I’m not really sure what I believe in. I believe in… something. There is no way I could be an atheist. They seem to be too hard, too calculating, too sure of themselves. Zealots almost. I don’t think I am that sure about anything in life. To have THAT much faith that there is nothing out there, it astounds me. It doesn’t leave much room for whimsy, fun, excitement. I like that idea that there is something out there after we die. I don’t believe it does any harm in thinking this way.

Just as much as I couldn’t be an atheist I couldn’t be someone very religious either. I just can’t get in to all the doctrine, the dogma. The rules of organized religion are so unappealing. The rules should be simple. Easy for people to follow. Something like ‘Treat others as you want to be treated.’ Sounds good right? Otherwise I find religion tedious and corrupt. It is no different than any other corporation.

Maybe that is why people think I am an atheist? Since I don’t go to church I must be an atheist?! I just can’t give up the thought there is something out there that we just aren’t aware of. Is believing in God nothing more than a superstition? Something to make us feel better about ourselves and our situation? Maybe. And again, what does that harm?

When I was in undergrad, and fancied myself to be smarter than I actually was, I had a minor in philosophy. I took a class about the ‘Philosophy of Religion.’ In the text book there was a lesson on Pascal’s Square which was a theory on why we should believe in good. (Google it for more info.) It was very simplistic in the way it described why we should believe in God. It said nothing about religion. It spoke about God only. And I like that.

I like to think that God is out there and has left us to our own devices. We pick and choose how things will end up. We are responsible for our own actions and choices. God is there but I don’t think he is picking up the phone to hear our prayers. Prayers are meant to be more like meditation. To put your mind at ease. To get you ready to take on the day. That is comforting to me.

But what do I know?! I like talking about my dick too much. I hope God can forgive me.

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