Archive | November, 2014


25 Nov

Traditions come from nothing usually.  You do something, you eat somewhere, you go somewhere and a favorable memory is associated with it.  You do it over and over again because of the positive feelings that came from it.

I don’t have many traditions.  I like to eat at Mighty Taco when I return home to Buffalo to see my mother.  It reminds me of high school and my buddies Rob, Tim, Tom.  We’d go over to Mighty after playing some basketball or just for some late night food.  Memories come flooding back when I go there.  Even if I am not with any of those guys.

The one tradition that I enjoy the most is writing Christmas cards.  I always enjoyed writing them as a kid.  My mom would have make some home made ones that we would send to family members.  As I got older I lost it.  I stopped doing it.  Lord knows why.  A few years ago I started sending them again.  I wouldn’t make many; I would just send out a few to friends and family.

Three years ago I wrote out all the cards I had planned to send but still had a good 20 left over.  Not wanting these things to sit in my basement for a year, I posted on Facebook that I would send cards to people who wouldn’t want one.  I felt like this was a good way to spread some cheer.  In the process I found out a lot of people didn’t receive ANY cards at all.  This was a travesty to me.  I mean who doesn’t love getting a Christmas card?! So the following year I opened it up to 50 people.  They went fast.  Last year I opened it up to whoever wanted one.  I sent out over 250 cards.  I had fun writing silly things in them.  It was fun for me!

The thing that surprised me the most was how many people sent cards back.  It was never my intention to have people send cards back.  This was a selfish way for me to GIVE to people.  But people sent them back and I was grateful.  One thing I like to do with the cards is to tape them to my kitchen cabinet doors.  My kitchen has a lot of white doors and it looks pretty plain in there.  The Christmas cards brighten up the room!  I leave them up year round.  Don’t consider that laziness.  It just reminds me of good time and spreading cheer.

So if any of you would like to be a part of my tradition I am sending out 250 Christmas cards this year let me know. Technically they are postcards as I had a pic taken of me for it.  It is goofy and hopefully people enjoy it.  So be a part of my tradition and in the process you can start your own.  Don’t be a Grinch!

Boo Hoo Extroverts.

19 Nov

Facebook is full of posts on ‘How to tell if…’ The ones that have piqued my interest are the ones surrounding introverts and extroverts.  I would describe myself as an introvert with extrovert tendencies.  I basically avoid groups of people and being a part of social settings.  It just isn’t me to go to a party and live it up.

On the flip side I do enjoy getting up onstage and telling people things about my foibles and my dick.  I enjoy making people laugh and being creative.  My particular set of skills don’t work so well with manual skills.  (Somehow I managed to put a furnace filter in wrong the other day.  You have a 50/50 chance of getting it right and I still got it wrong.)  But people mistake this activity with being an extrovert.  Think about it tho.  I am essentially having a one sided conversation.  I say stuff and don’t expect (or want) any responses other than laughter.  The hardest part of the night for me is to meet people after the show.  I understand the importance of meeting people after the shows and thanking them.  At times I feel like I am in a wedding reception line just shaking hands of people I don’t even know.

So do I wish I was an extrovert?  Hell yeah!  I would much prefer to be able to go up to people and strike up conversations.  To feel ok in a group setting.  It must be quite comforting.  So I would like to offer some tips for people on how they can deal with introverts.

1- When it seems like we are being awkward and stumbling over words we are probably flirting.  We don’t know how to effectively interact with people.  Sometimes it might seem like introverts start conversation midway through.  It is because we are.  We have been rehearsing (maybe for hours) conversations in our head.  We sometimes forget you haven’t been there for the beginning.

2- We aren’t sad all the time.  Just because we don’t go to parties or meet up with people doesn’t mean we are depressed.  It just means we don’t wanna meet up with ya.  If we want to go out with you, we will.  Don’t exaggerate your importance to us.

3- We can add to conversations.  We just are more apt to do it in smaller settings with people we know.  Or, and this might seem weird, you can just ask us questions.  Sometimes it is just easier to add to the conversation when information is being requested.  Introverts have thoughts of our own too.  We just might keep em close to the vest.

4- Don’t label us aloof just because we keep quiet.  We aren’t.  We are probably tougher on ourselves than anyone else.

5- Sometimes we just like to be alone.  It gives us time to reenergize and relax.  People can be draining and we don’t always have fun around people.  We force ourselves to be around others and alone time allows us to recover.

6- Don’t think we don’t have capabilities to lead or lack confidence.  I’ve had to take the reins of projects before because people weren’t doing it (including extroverts).  Don’t underestimate the power of an introvert.  We can surprise you with our abilities.

So with that being said I would prefer to be an extrovert.  Being the life of the party, people wanting to be around you, people giving you the benefit of the doubt.  Sounds awful.  I’m not hardwired that way.  So I make conscious efforts to step outside of my comfort level.  So come talk to me and I will talk back with you.  Just don’t expect me to throw you a party.


Elevator Etiquette

1 Nov

This is what’s wrong with the world today… elevator etiquette.  Even though they have been around since before Christ was born. (I found that out through Wikipedia and we all know Wikipedia is nothing but truthiness.) I’m amazed that people don’t seem to know how to act and ride in elevators.  Here are some rules that adults don’t use enough of.  Pass this information on to your children so that elevator rides will be smoother in the future!  In fact, feel free to pass this information to other people’s misbehaving brats when you are sharing a miserable elevator ride. So I would like to go over some common rules that are easy to follow.

  • When the elevator doors open let the people off FIRST and then get on. And when you do get on go to the back off the elevator.  Makes sense right?  Room is made for you on the elevator when people leave.   And if you are on the elevator , and people are trying to get off, get out of their way.  You aren’t trying out for the Lions offensive line so no need to block people.
  • Don’t push the floor button more than once for the floor. The lighted number means the button has already been pushed!  The elevator isn’t going to get there any faster and you just look like an impatient dick.
  • If you are using the elevator to just go up or down just one floor you are a dick. You can use the stairs.  No need to inconvenience people who are going several flights up or down.    Did I mention you are a dick?
  • If you fart in the elevator you need to take credit for it. Call it out!  Own it!  Unless it is just you and another person.  They know already.  They know.
  • No need to talk on the elevator. The ride is generally not long enough for a full conversation.  No one wants to engage in small talk on the elevator.  In many ways the elevator is a jail cell that you have a very short sentence in.  No one talks in jail, except snitches, and no one wants to be a snitch!
  • No need to make eye contact. You look like a creeper.  And eye contact is a sign of aggression in the animal world.  It is unnecessary.  Prepare to get hit if you make eye contact.  Law of the Jungle people!
  • Don’t use your cell phone in the elevator. It is a small space, as I have already said, people don’t need to talk on the elevator.  You don’t need people eavesdropping on you anyway.  This rule should also be used when you are standing in line at the grocery store/fast food restaurant/post office/dentist office/sporting event and anywhere else you are in public.  Talk in your car or stay at home.
  • Lay off the perfume/cologne. I get that you want to smell nice but there aren’t any fans or vents on elevators.  Your vast amount of Axe body spray is enough to kill a horse.  In fact I believe that according to the Geneva Convention you are committing a form of torture.  Wait til you get outside before you take a ‘French Shower.’

This is a good and simple list of rules for you to follow to make sure that you have an enjoyable elevator ride.  Please be aware of others around you.  If not just be forewarned that it is legal to nut punch people who disregard these rules.  Law of the Jungle baby!