Archive | February, 2016

Stupid things…

11 Feb

I was supposed to have my doctor’s appointment today.  The follow up to my stay in the hospital for my blood clot.  I was just planning on getting check out to see if the clots were ok and if I could get off the blood thinners.


The doctor I was seeing was someone that the hospital found for me as I did not have a primary care physician.  I get to the office and go to check in with the secretary and immediately there is a problem.  ‘What could be the problem Stu?’ you ask… What is always the problem, my insurance. My insurance is garbage.  I admit it is garbage.  We’ve had this conversation before so I won’t get into it now.  The problem for me now is that I am not there because I just walked in.  I am there because the hospital sent me there.  The hospital found this doctor in their OWN system.  They are all under the ‘Spectrum’ umbrella of health care here in Grand Rapids, MI.

The secretary  informs me that they don’t take my insurance.  I in turn stare at her.  It is like a scene out of an old Clint Eastwood western movie.  Squinty glares, sweat beading, chewing on cigars… Ok, maybe not that dramatic but you get the point.  I eventually say that the hospital sent me there.  To which she replies ‘We don’t take your insurance.’  (I think this record only plays one song.)  I told her that I understood that but the point was that I don’t have any more meds as I thought I would be seeing the doctor today and they would either give me more meds or tell me I was ok to be off them.  She responded ‘We don’t take your insurance.’  (Are you having a stroke or something lady?)

The secretary eventually goes and gets the office manager who informs me that ‘they do not take my insurance.’  (I think I’ve heard this before.)  I again reiterate that I am ok with that but the problem is that THEIR organization sent me there and that I am out of meds.  So what am I supposed to do?!  Their answer? They gave me the # for patient relations and the # for the organization that would take my insurance.  (How is it that they knew who took my insurance and the hospital did not?)

I left, without meds but at least they validated my parking stub, and called to find a doctor.  I eventually found one, who took my insurance, and made an appointment.  For APRIL FUCKING EIGHTH!  Lord.  So no meds for 2 months.  A nurse buddy told me to take an aspirin a day in the meanwhile.  Does this sound good?  Is this what I have to resort too?  Anyway,  I called the patient relation # too.  You know what I got?  The answering machine… Of course I did.

On another note this past weekend I had a crowd member come up to me after a show.  She said ‘A lot of people didn’t get you, but I got you.  I thought you were funny.’  I took that as a positive, although odd, compliment.  I’m glad that she liked me.  She thought my sense of humor was ‘off’ and a little ‘weird.’  I’ll admit that it is.  I have no interest in trying to please the masses.  I feel that if you are trying to please everyone you end up pleasing no one.  However I think other people were laughing.  What the fuck do I know?  I’ll just keep writing weird jokes…



Tips for Comedy Club Crowds

9 Feb

I have spent a lot of my life in comedy clubs.  I have been in some good ones, some bad ones and some that I would just assume forget.  In the process I have seen a lot of comedy club crowds.  I have been amazed at what some people think is appropriate behavior.  (They are wrong.)   So here are 10 tips (rules) for people coming to see a show.



1- Show up on time.  That seems pretty simple right?  In fact, get there early.  Get a seat you want, sit in it, and have some drinks or food before the show.  Figure out where the bathroom is and who your server will be.  Just relax.

2- Understand the show is not about you.  You are not at home watching a Netflix special.  You are in public surrounded by people who don’t care about you.  Be quiet, be respectful.  Keep your table talk down.  People came to see the show, not hear about what happened at your job today.

3- Keep your phone off.  You don’t need to check your text, Facebook, Tinder or anything else during the 90 minutes of the show.  The phone is distracting to the comedians and those around you.  If you have to check your phone do it outside of the showroom.

4- Don’t yell at the comics.  They don’t need your help.  In fact, you are not helping.  Just remember #2, the show is not about you.

5- Don’t throw things at the comics.  I am not sure why you would do that.  You are supposed to be a civilized person in public.  We do not throw things at other people.

6- Don’t think you can get onstage.  The stage is private property of the comedian.  Do not ever think you can get on that stage! You will be considered to be trespassing and might just be shot on site.  Or at least asked to leave.

7- Don’t get wasted at the show.  When you get drunk you make bad decisions which usually lends itself you breaking one of the suggestions mentioned above.  Most clubs are just 2 drink minimums.  If you are getting hammered off of 2 drinks, good for you.  Just remember that you can order food or water or soda instead.  Or buy drinks for others.  Just don’t make bad choices.

8- I realize that not all comedy is for you.  Not all comedians are going to tell jokes that you will like.  That is why it is your job to do a little research into who you are going to see.  You do that for movies, concerts, and restaurants.  Youtube a comic or at least look at their website.  It will give you some insight into what you are going to see.  Don’t get mad if it is not what you wanted.

9- When leaving the club buy some merch from the comedians.  A lot of them could use the extra money to help pay for food and travel.  Or just come up to them and say ‘Nice job.’  You can take their card and follow them on social media.  Or tell the manager that you liked them.  Trust me, it does make a difference.

10- When leaving the club there is no reason to tell a comic you liked them more than the other.  Comedy is not a contest.  We are all trying to just do our best.  Just tell them you enjoyed their work.  It gets awkward otherwise.

These are just 10 simple things you can do to have a better experience at the club.  Hopefully you just go more to shows and have a great time in the process.

The Small Things

9 Feb

It has been almost a month and I am still dealing with problems from the blood clot in my leg and lungs.  My leg is still noticeably swollen and my breathing is not as deep as I would like it to be.  I can’t walk too far as a result.  My sleep is often poor which is weird for me.  Normally I get to sleep very quickly and stay asleep.  Now I have thoughts if clots of blood traveling through my body and into my heart while I am asleep.  Not the best thing to think of as you are trying to doze off.

Today though I felt better.  I did something around the house and went out to get my suit dry cleaned, some banking done (I’m old.  I like going to the back.) and to the post office. (I’m old.  I like mailing things.)


There were moments in time where I did not actually think about the pain in my leg.  It has been almost 30 days where that pain is with me.  For short periods of time it was gone.  I think some of it had to do with the fact that I was preoccupied.  I was too busy to think of other things.  Keeping  the mind active is an important thing.  Plus I found 10 stamps while at the post office! Big score in my book.

I go to see the doctor in 3 days.  Hopefully the news is good and he gives me tips on how to keep reducing the swelling in my leg.  In the meanwhile I’ll stay busy, write some jokes, go to the post office and try to remember to get my dry cleaning.