Archive | June, 2017

100 Words a Day #78

30 Jun

You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast. –Catherynne Valenti

I think this woman is just quick with a knife.  Stay away from this one.

 

Once your excuses are gone, you will simply have to settle for being awesome! –Lorii Myers

Has this person lived life?  You can have no excuses and not be awesome.  What is her excuse?

 

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? –Albert Camus

Why not do both Albert?

 

No man fears what he has seen grow. –African Proverb

Cept scorned women.

proverbs

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100 Words a Day #77

29 Jun

What do you do when you have done something for so long but you just don’t want to do it anymore?  You just aren’t sure how to stop it…

What do you do when you are tired of seeing the same people over and over again?  You keep having the same conversations over and over again and you just want it to stop.

I guess you just take a couple of steps back.  You take the hit and realize that you can’t just keep doing it as is.

It isn’t helpful to you.  So go ahead and make that change!

Change

100 Words a Day #76

28 Jun

How I watch a movie-

1- Get tickets and concessions.

2- Get to theater and comment on how sticky the floors are.

3- Eat all of my popcorn during the trailers.

4- Go back to the concession stand to get more popcorn.  I refill my drink too.

5- I’ve missed the first 10 minutes of the movie.  I ask people what I missed.  They usually tell me to be quiet.

6- I finish my 2nd drink and go to the bathroom.

7- I’ve missed most of the movie.

8- I end up watching the movie again when it’s on Netflix.

Movie-Releases

100 Words A Day #75

27 Jun

You ever have those moments where you just think ‘Fuck, if only…’?  I get them more than I should.  Or at least more than I would want.  Essentially they are just moments of regret.  Moments you wish you could change but will never be able to.

So why even focus on that?  Because it is easy.  It gives you hope of what life could have been.  How things could have been happier.  Ultimately it is wasted energy.

Focus on the present.  Use the past as a learning experience that will help prevent you from having these ‘What if’ moments again.

What if

100 Words a Day #74

26 Jun

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom! Because I worked there and my manger made me clean it up after some people had sex in it.

I’ve had people offer to not pay me but put me on the flier for some free exposure.  In return I said I will come and eat a ton of food and drink a lot of booze.  I won’t pay.  But I will leave a positive review on Yelp.  You know, for free exposure.

I drive a small car to compensate for my huge cock.

Marriage does not equal happiness.

Number 9.

Burger King bathroom

100 Words a Day #73

25 Jun

I ran into an old coworker of mine at my job today.  I hate when worlds collide.  I have several of them and just like to keep things separate.

The biggest issue is that my new job is a big step down from my old job.  While I work in a hospital I’m a bottom rung kind of worker.  I hate class systems but you can really tell where you stand there.

Regardless I talked with my old coworker and went about my day.  Made me wonder what she thought about my current situation.  It shouldn’t matter but it does.

Class system

100 Words a Day #72

25 Jun

‘Oh, wow! That’s a beautiful baby.  What did you name it?’

‘Stan.’

‘Nice, a baby boy.’

‘No, this is a girl.’

‘You named a girl Stan?’

‘Yeah, we decided to go with something old fashioned, a little more untraditional.’

‘Sure, I get that.  Lot of people naming their girls Nora or Sophie or Stella.  Older girl names.  Stan is a boy’s name.’

‘Are you sure?  We always thought it had a feminine ring to it.’

‘Ever hear of Stan Laurel?  He was a man.’

‘Oh sure, he was just pretty girly tho.’

‘Got a middle name picked out?’

‘Yes, Arkansas.’Girl names