Archive | August, 2017

100 Words a Day #122

15 Aug

The dog snarled and the cat hissed.  The alley was dimly lit from a street light.  The two animals were fighting over whatever remnants were in a discarded pizza box.

The dog was easily 4 times the size of the cat but the cat was quicker, hungrier and much meaner.  With one swipe of the paw on the dog’s nose the cat was victorious.  The dog scampered out of the alley.

Looking in the box the cat found some crust and a container of marinara sauce.  She picked up the crust in her mouth to take back to her babies.

Alley cat, Jerusalem

100 Words a Day #121

14 Aug

‘You want me here because I know when Bengo is near.  I know how to avoid Bengo.’

‘Well, maybe I want to meet Bengo.  Maybe I want to have him here.’

‘No you don’t.  You know that tsunami that hit Thailand in 2004?  That was Bengo.’

‘How the fuck was that Bengo?  Why would Bengo even do that?’

‘Because Bengo is unreasonable.  Bengo doesn’t have remorse.  Bengo does as Bengo does.’

‘So why are you even here?’ he asked.

‘Because I can help.  I can stop Bengo.  Bengo made me.  I am a part of Bengo and he is me.’

tsunami_picture

 

100 Words a Day #120

13 Aug

Each and every day is a new chance to learn about the stupidity of people.

Yesterday there was a Neo-Nazi rally in Charlottesville, VA.  A RALLY for NAZIS in AMERICA!  Any of this make sense?

So how am I, as a white person, supposed to respond?  Clearly it is reprehensible.  Clearly it is deplorable.  Clearly I am against any rants of hatred.

Am I gonna go do there to counter protest?  Pass.

Will I start a rally in my own community? Probably not.

I’ll just try to live my life the best I can and help others in the process.

fightnazis2

 

100 Words a Dy #119

12 Aug

Things you need to be aware of life on the road as a comic.

1- It is often lonely.  You need to stay disciplined.

2- You often stay in cheap motels or crash on couches.

3- Food isn’t cheap.

4- Write about your experiences.

5- Learn to be friendly with staff and audience members.  Staff often have a say in who comes back.  Audience members will come back if they like you.

6- Get discount rewards at gas stations.

7- Have a quality gps!

8- Try to have fun! Don’t do this if you can’t.

9- Comedy is a job!

comedyontheroad-poster

100 Words a Day #118

11 Aug

Do what you love not what you think other people will love.

Personally I love doing my podcast, doing radio, writing short stories, working on sketches, hitting the gym, playing with my dog, eating lots of ice cream.

Sadly most of those things don’t pay me well, or at all.  So I make do and do things I wouldn’t normally do.  Like jobs, am I right?!   But a brother has got to eat so I become a slave to the man.

Possibly some of these things will pay off for me.  But until then I will enjoy what I do.

Print

100 Words a Day #117

10 Aug

Sheriff Thompson showed up maybe 15 minutes later.  He was in his own car.  He drove a classic 1974 Pontiac Trans AM.  It was a perfect car for him.  All muscle, no brain.

Bob and the Sheriff had clashed before.  Mostly when they were drinking at the local watering hole/restaurant/post office.  Bob liked baseball and the Sheriff liked football.  It was mostly playful banter but Bob didn’t like the Sheriff.  He knew the Sheriff could be a prick.

‘So what happened here Bob?’

‘Sheriff I don’t rightly know.  I was in the house when I heard a loud explosion.’

garage

100 Words a Day #116

8 Aug

‘So we don’t want to meet Bengo because?’ he asked.

‘Because Bengo does what Bengo wants.  Bengo has no ID.  Bengo is all ego and is unpredictable.  Bengo is a small child that wants to eat all the candy in a candy shop.’ She replied.

‘Uh, aren’t you a small child?  Where did you come from?  Why are you here?  Maybe I should just kick you out?!’

‘I’m not a child.  I just appear that way to you.  I came from the bottom of the pond.  The other side of the bottom of the pond.  And you want me here.’candy shop