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100 Words a Day #104

26 Jul

Write numbers alphabetically to 100.  You’ll have more words than 100. Weird.

 

Books on tape really speak to me.

 

Do you think Einstein ever said ‘You don’t need to be me to figure this out.’?

 

I’m pretty sure my dog likes it when I Dutch Oven her.

 

I’m amazed that so many people can’t figure out revolving doors.

 

Food festivals shouldn’t be held at zoos.

 

My dog isn’t a rescue but my girlfriend is.

 

I like texting random numbers with ‘New phone. Who dis?’

 

I said it. There, I said it.

 

And there for the grace of spellcheck go I.

One liners

 

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100 Words a Day #9

21 Apr

I brought my car in to the shop and was talking to Max the owner.  I don’t know a thing about cars but I have trusted Max with my last 3 cars.  As a travelling travel salesman I put a lot of miles on my car in a year.  Max told me my ‘radio fluid’ was low and the ‘backup engine block’ was shaky.  That it would need to get a full overhaul.  I told him I had a sweet deal on a sweet time share in Duluth, MN that I could get him in on. We got each other.

Car

What does the Industry want?!

6 May

I recently got to watch a panel discussion on the industry of comedy.  The panel consisted of comedians, writers, managers etc.  People who had influence of some kind.  People who were bigger fish than yours truly.   Someone eventually addressed the elephant in the room and asked ‘What does the industry want?’  And the reply was … ‘We don’t know.’

At the point my head exploded.  I know that was a glib off the cuff response but still.  You are IN the industry and you DON’T know?! How the fuck is that possible?!  Why was I even at this panel?  If they didn’t know what kind of information could they give me?!

So I thought about it (As they should have done.  Like they really didn’t think someone would ask that question?!) and came up with 4 things that the industry would like to see from its comics.

1- Funny.  Just be funny.  While at the panel they said some things about me while not speaking to me specifically.  They said ‘We are tired of white males with beards wearing plaid.’  Uh, ok. But what does that have to do with being funny?  I am a white male, with a beard, who likes to wear plaid.  I would look like this even if I wasn’t doing comedy.  I’m sorry that YOU can’t get beyond my appearance.   Plenty of funny dudes with beards who wear plaid.  Plenty who aren’t.  Look for the funny.

2- Be original.  Maybe this is what they are referring to concerning white guys with beards wearing plaid.  With that being said I don’t think your appearance is what makes you funny or not.  I’ve seen plenty of guys wearing stupid shirts, beanies with propellers, dumb haircuts, and silly glasses that were original but just not funny.  They relied on gimmicks for laughs.  Instead have a unique voice and perspective and the rest will follow.

3- Be likeable.  You want a crowd to like you, to listen to you, to laugh with you.  Don’t be a dick onstage or off.  You’ll be better off.

4- Be versatile.  Be able to work different situations.  Be ready to do different things like act, write sketch, improv, blog etc.  All of those things will help you in the end.

That is it really.  I don’t have any other preconceived notions.  I could care less about demographics.  Race, gender, sexual orientation etc should just not matter.  I know too many people it does matter and maybe that is why I’m not in the industry.  I’ll just continue to be the middle aged bearded white male who likes to wear plaid

.Stu McCallister 014 (2)