100 Words a Day #176

16 Oct

One day that dog is gonna die of sleep.  All it does is lie on the bed, couch, chair and sometimes the floor and sleep.  If it didn’t have to get up to go eat or take a dump it wouldn’t.

The owner was fine with that though.  He liked that the dog was low maintenance.  He liked that he didn’t have to do much.  The dog never wanted to go for walks.  It didn’t jump up on him.  They had a connection that way.

He picked up the dog and put him on the bed for one last nap.

High Angle View Of Dog Sleeping On Folded Towel


100 Words a Day #175

13 Oct

Yesterday I talked about jumping through hoops.  I had to jump through a hoop.  Apparently I did not jump high enough.

I did another audition for a booker (I had passed 2 years ago but they wanted to see me again.)  I got 15 minutes.  I got the crowd laughing.  I got applause breaks.  I felt good about it.

I met with the booker and he told me he did not see the ‘Wow!’ factor so they wouldn’t use me again.  Not terribly constructive.

So I drove home the 5 hours disappointed.  I will not let my failures define me.


100 Words a Day #174

12 Oct

Sometimes you have to jump through one more hoop.  After you jump through that hoop you need to jump through another.  And then one more hoop.

It is all about the pursuit of comedy.  You need to prove to people that you are funny.  That you got ‘the stuff.’

I’m headed down to Columbus, OH today because I am jumping through one more hoop.  There’s a booker there that a buddy is auditioning for.  Just another hoop.  What you did before doesn’t matter.  You just need to do it.

Hopefully he passes the audition and it is one less hoop.


100 Words a Day #173

11 Oct

From the tv you could hear the game show Jeopardy playing.

‘His teeth were said to have been made of wood, but they were really made of many things including cow teeth, copper and ivory.’

‘Who is George Washington. This show is too damn easy.’ Said Billy.

‘You ever think of applying and going on?  Maybe you would win some money?!’

‘I thought about it but I don’t think I will.’

“What are you talking about?  You’re the smartest guy I know!’

‘I just don’t ever want to meet Alex Trebek?


‘In all honesty, his mustache creeps me out.


100 Words a Day #172

9 Oct

It will be good they said.  You will enjoy it they said.  You’ll have a good time they said.


I was at the Hanson concert and it was just that.  Eh.  It was their 25th Anniversary tour.  25 years on the road, performing, touring, recording.  Good for them.

Other than their 1997 smash hit, Mmmbop, I did not know one of their songs.  I had no idea what I was in for.

I should have known.  It was very poppy.  Very upbeat. Very sugary.  All the songs sounded the same to me.  Next time I will have to pass.


100 Words a Day #171

7 Oct

Do you take her to be your wife?

I do.

Do you take him to be your husband?

I do.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Ok, now what?  They both said ‘I do’ but what does that mean?  I do what?

You are agreeing to things but what are you agreeing to?  You can’t predict the future.  You can’t predict what ifs?

What if ‘I don’t?’  Maybe you just don’t want to do those things anymore?

You get hired for a job but can be expected to leave.  Maybe it should be ok to leave a marriage too?

i dont

100 Words a Day #170

6 Oct

Sometimes you just don’t know.  You have no idea how things will turn out.  You hope for the best, you expect the worst.  You pull in to the parking expecting to see a shithole.  (It looks nice.)  You go in expecting a dead crowd.  (There are people there.)  You think that the sound and lights will be crap. (They are not.)  You expect the crowd to be dumb and full of hecklers.  (They aren’t and there are no hecklers.)  You expect to sell no merch.  (You sell several.)  Sometimes things in life just surprise you and you have some faith.